… and I realize that this is hardly an original insight
Yet I am always a little surprised when the writing does not flow like I wish it would. I have been participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I hoped to get a strong and steady lead early on this month, but it didn’t happen. I think about my story almost every day, and I’m just as certain as ever that it is an important story – one that needs to be told – but I’m not feeling present when I’m writing.
This is not a problem unique to my writing life. All areas of my life at the moment are constantly warring for my attention. I have two part-time jobs where I am driven to excel and which think about constantly outside of the office. I have a dog who demands constant attention. I also have a dream of becoming a successful blogger, a small business owner, and a published author. These are all the goals tugging at my brain at the moment.
It is hard to prioritize any of them, because everything is interwoven in my head. Excelling at my jobs will set me up for future success on my own business venture or even in future job opportunities. I also feel like my blog is the intersection of everything. I can cover topics related to my work, my dog, or my other dreams.
But back to writing. Good writing demands all your attention. Maybe there are some virtuosos out there who can turn it on and off like a switch. I am not one of those people, not at the moment anyway. Even with plenty of time, I have felt like the writing is just not coming. And I am not even talking about inspiration.
I forget where I heard it, but I was recently listening to a podcast or reading a article (that I don’t remember annoys and scares me) where someone was talking about how the writing you produce when you are hating writing the most is hard to differentiate from the writing you produce in the best of moods. So maybe I should just plow through even if it sucks, but it’s hard. And my brain thinks of all kinds of reasons to put it off.
So the writing is not going well. I have not lost all hope, but if I manage to win NaNoWriMo this month, no one will be more surprised than me.
I would like to start blogging again on a casual basis. No graphics. No forms of promotion, not even on Twitter. So hopefully I will be back with another blog post very soon. If you are participating in NaNoWriMo or can relate to how I’m feeling about being pulled in several different directions, sound off in the comments down below!